Broken Angel
by threewhitedoves
Summary: "He has overcome so much during his short life, but everything leaves a mark. All the long ago healed bruises have started to take their toll on his heart."  I suck at summaries.. WARNING this is very angst-y.
1. Chapter 1

**Well here's another Angst-y one.. Dunno why I keep writing them but here it is anyway!**

**The lyrics are from Broken Angel by Boyce Avenue. Great song, should listen to it.**

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><p><em>You showed him all the best of you<br>But I'm afraid your best  
>Wasn't good enough<br>And know he never wanted you  
>At least not the way<br>You wanted yourself to be loved  
>And you feel like you were a mistake<br>He's not worth all those tears that won't go away_

Kurt watched as Blaine walked away, hand in hand with the crazy, blonde haired Jeremiah.

He let the fake smile fall from his face and hot tears take its place. The pain he felt in his chest was excruciating to the point he though his heart had actually split in two.

It was a Miracle he made it home without crashing. Tears obscured his vision and he was just lucky nobody was home to ask questions.

He hated all the questions; "Are you alright?" "What happened?"  
>and the worst, the same answer.<p>

_It's all going to be ok_

No, it wasn't. They didn't know that. What right did anybody have to say that? The future wasn't clear to anybody. And nothing was ever "all right". Not in this world.

A world where he was discriminated against just for his sexuality.  
>A world where being different wasn't such a good idea.<br>A world where nothing ever seemed to work out.

His tears were running freely down his cheeks as he collapsed on his bed, letting out a strangled cry.

He tried to be perfect, to be the one Blaine would want. But his efforts were all for nothing.  
>Blaine just pushed him aside constantly reminding them they were "best friends".<p>

But Kurt wanted more than that. He wanted to be the one Blaine held hands with, the one Blaine sings to, the one Blaine kisses simply because he loves him so much, the one Blaine curls up to late at night.  
><em><br>__Oh broken angel  
>Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams<br>Oh broken angel  
>Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe<em>

Kurt sighed and rolled over to stare at the ceiling.

He was afraid and scared. He didn't want to lose Blaine. He would rather have him as a best friend, than nothing at all. But it looks like Jeremiah has taken that from him as well. Blaine never talks to him anymore. They have stopped going for coffee after Warblers practice, No more sleep over's in each others dorms simply because they fell while watching Disney movies, and definitely no more heartfelt conversations.

Kurt didn't just give up, he tried. He really did. But every time he asked Blaine what he was doing that weekend, it was always "I'm going out with Jeremiah" or "Jeremiah wants to hang out".

Blaine just doesn't make time for him anymore. And it's tearing Kurt apart. Blaine didn't know how much Kurt depended on him. The one thing right in his world, the one person that would always be there. Now none of that was true.

A fresh wave of tears came rolling out of his eyes as he thought about the last few months, his life slowly spiraling out of control, down to the dumps.

Kurt took out the black journal from his bedside table. He gently turned the pages, re-reading all the words he had wasted on Blaine. All the happy, the sad, and now the damn right miserable. He picked up the fountain pen and began to write on the very last page left of his diary. Tears splashed on to the page, slightly blurring some of the words.

He wrote about all his pain and suffering, about how much he missed his mother, about how he felt when Blaine and Jeremiah got together and Blaine started shutting him out. He left a short note for both his dad and Blaine, knowing they would eventually find this book.

Kurt walked over and opened the top draw of his dresser, pulling out a box hidden beneath some clothes.

He had been planning this for a while now. He had already said goodbye to all his friends, making sure he told them how much they meant to him even though it just made them really confused.

He tried to talk to Blaine but once again he was busy with Jeremiah. So he just settled for writing him a note.

He pulled out the red spray paint and walked over to the only bare wall, taking great care in keeping it neat.

He sat down in the middle of his bed, gazing around the room at all his belongings. His Broadway posters, the sound system in the corner and his iPod dock, his desk and laptop, clothes, various products, and settling on the back of his door which was covered in pictures of him with his friends and family. Blaine was in most of them of course, Kurt hadn't had the heart to take those ones down. Not yet.

He has overcome so much during his short life, but everything leaves a mark. All the long ago healed bruises have started to take their toll on his heart.

He took one last look before popping the cap on the bottle of pills and swallowing a handful of them dry.  
>He leaned over and grabbed the photo frame of his mother, clutching it to his chest.<p>

They say that before you die your whole life flashes before your eyes, but that's not true.  
>Kurt only saw all the endless pain and torment, starting with his mother's death.<br>**  
>Goodbye<strong>_, _with his last thought Kurt slipped into an eternal slumber.

_And I promise that it's not your fault  
>It was never your fault<br>And I promise that it's not your fault  
>It was never your fault...<em>

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><p><strong>Well .. ah .. Review?<strong>

**I'll add another short chapter tomorrow, just to wrap things up.**_  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Well looks like I might actually continue with this! Dunno if I'm gonna go for a lovey dovey happy ending though, tell me whatcha think!**

**And again, warning for Angst.**

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><p>-<br>"Kurt! Dinner's ready!" Silence.  
>"Kurt! Don't make me come up there!" Silence.<br>"KURT!" Silence.

"Burt hun, he is probably listening to music or something. Just go up and knock." Carole said as she poked her head out of the Kitchen. Men sometimes, shouting doesn't solve everything.

Burt just grumbles in response and slowly walks up the stairs. '_Gonna have to install some sorta P.A system in this house, the way things are going' _He thought to himself as he walked the rest of the short distance to Kurt's door before knocking rather loudly.

"Kurt? If you don't answer I'm coming in" Again, Silence. _'Huh'_

He turned the door knob, but it was locked. He figured yelling again wouldn't help so he ran his fingers over the top of the door frame, knocking off the spare key in to his hand. The only way He let his son have a lock on his door was if a spare key was easily accessible, for situations such as these and emergencies.

He opened the door just enough to poke his head in. What he saw put a smile on his face. Kurt was just sleeping… with a photo frame clutched to his chest…  
>Burt was about to walk out rather than waking his son up, but a flash of orange caught his eye.<p>

He quietly walked up to the bed to find out what it was. He picked up the little cylinder squinting in the dark to make out what it was. A pill bottle.

"Kurt!" He shook Kurt's shoulders violently as panic settled in.

"Carole! Finn!" He screamed, hoping they could hear him. He lowered his ear to Kurt's mouth hoping to god he would be able to hear something.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" Carole burst into the room, with Finn hot on her heels.

"It's Kurt" He sobbed "H-he's not breathing!" He crawled onto the bed cradling Kurt's head in his lap.

Carole put a hand to her mouth while tears overflowed from her Eyes while Finn just stood there in shock.

"Finn call an ambulance." But Finn couldn't do anything but stand there staring at Kurt.

"Finn DO IT NOW!" Burt yelled, snapping him out of the trance like state he was in. He stumbled into his room across the hall to find his phone.

"Hello this is 9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

"I-I need an ambulance NOW!" by this stage he was hyperventilating.  
>"Sir, I need you to just calm down. Now what's the address and what's going on?"<p>

Finn gave the Lady his address and told her Kurt wasn't breathing while walking back across the hallway to Kurt's room.

"Ok the ambulance is on its way. How long has he been like this?"

"I d-don't know. We just found… oh god his lips are blue!" Finn gasped in Horror, Kurt's complexion was getting paler and his lips had turned blue.

_What the hell was going on? Kurt only got home like half an hour ago! Sure he was crying and didn't notice us, we were gonna talk at dinner! WHY ISN'T HE BREATHING! _All these thoughts were going through Finn's head at once making it feel like exploding.

"Calm down. He's going to be fine you should hear sirens now, they are about 2 minutes away."

Finn mumbled a response and passed the phone off to his mother. He ran his fingers through his hair out of stress and slowly looked around, seeing if there was any clue as to what the hell was going on.

He felt all the colour drain from his face as he slowly read the large words on the opposite wall.

"I'M SORRY" what scrawled in big, curvy, red letters against the white wall.

"Burt, mum..." Finn just pointed, unable to finish that sentence.

Carole's tears only increased as she let a harsh sob. Burt just sat there in silence, putting all the pieces together.

The Pills, the message on the wall, his currently non-breathing state and the photo frame clutched to his chest which on second glance was the one from his bedside table containing a picture of his mother… Kurt had tried to commit suicide.

The reality set like a cold blanket over his body.

"I'm going down to meet the ambulance, it should be here now" Carole all but whispered and ran from the room.

"Why?" Was the only thing Burt could say to his only son as paramedics rushed in and took Kurt away from him.

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><p><strong>Should I kill Kurt? Should Blaine find out about this? Should Kurt survive? Should Blaine realize his feelings? Should they end up together?<br>ahhh so many questions!  
>Review :D<strong>

**Can't continue till I figure out the rest of the story line in my head! any suggestions?  
><strong>


	3. A little note from your author :

**I know this is meant to be an update, but I just wanted to tell you guys this.**

**I finally got an alright plot line figured out. But it's going to take a while and I might have to re-read a book I'm going to loosely base it off, it won't take too long promise! I will get started on it as soon as possible.**

**And just a warning, this is going to be a bit different, Soooo I'm sorry if you don't end up liking it :S**

**Anyway, TTFN!**

**And thank you for reading so far :)**


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